Puzzled

Puzzled. That's perfect. I am so puzzled about what to do with my life. At this point I've accepted that I won't be attending graduate school in the fall, due to not getting in. It's not that I don't fit the criteria to get in, but that I applied late and my school hasn't sent my transcripts. I'm seeing this as a good thing though as it will allow me apply for other graduate school programs for the following year. But I'm still puzzled.

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As I mentioned, I've accepted that I won't be going to grad school in the fall. I'm okay with that because I really want to apply to a number of schools, so I'll be able to do that for Fall 2012. But Fall 2012 is a LONG way away, and the question of what to do until then has me puzzled. I've applied for two jobs so far. I got rejected for one. The other, the one with the CT DEP, I interviewed for and I thought it had gone really well. It seemed like it went really well, and I was left with the impression that my chances of getting the job were high. I was supposed to have heard by the end of this past week, and I didn't. It doesn't mean that I haven't gotten the job, but my sometimes paranoid "think the worst" mind doesn't have high hopes anymore. Hopefully I will hear Monday. I've already prepared myself for the negative, and I've decided it won't be a big deal if I don't get it. I mean I still want the job, as it is right along the lines of what I want to do (at least as far as my degree goes). It would only be a seasonal position so it would last much longer than the summer, so I'd still be back at square one after that (but at least I'd have experience under my belt). Plus, if I don't get it then I don't have to worry about commuting an hour or so to work especially with these gas prices (already over $4 in CT).

Okay, so let's say I don't get this job. Then what? Back to being puzzled. I'm going home either way after graduation. That seems to be the only sure thing right now. I'm still welcome to return to my job at the Canteen, which is awesome. I totally appreciate that I have that opportunity because that is a rare thing to have in this world. So I know that I always have that to fall back on and I know that they'll give me all the hours I want (or don't want) and I'll be making good money that I can save up for six months down the road when my loan payments start. So while I know that I have that to fall back on, I'd still prefer something related to what I just spent 4 years (8 if you count high school) studying for.

So today I began the search for some more jobs to apply for (while I should have been working on my paper or homework, but oh well).  I found two so far that I'm going to apply for. One is with the Research Corporation of the University of Hawaii. Yes, Hawaii. The position is a bivalve hatchery technician. The pay isn't amazing, but it's typical for starting jobs in Aquaculture. Who cares though, it's Hawaii right? The thing that limits me on being qualified for this position though is the 'one year of aquaculture experience'. Although, the education requirement is only a 2 year Associate's degree in a related field of biology. So I'm thinking that there's a chance that my 4-year Bachelor's degree and hands on experience from my aquaculture classes could substitute for that year of experience. I would not hesitate to pick up and move to Hawaii. Wouldn't even take much with me, but some clothes and necessities. But I haven't set any expectations for this, as my chances of getting it are probably slim.

Another job I found is a lot closer to home. It's for a marine sciences teaching assistant at the Mystic Seaport in Mystic, CT.  The position is open starting the end of May and I seem to meet the requirements (no mention of experience needed either). So I'll apply for that and see where that takes me.

Either way I've decided that whether I go home with a job or not, and I know I'll be staying at home for some time, I'm going to start volunteering at the Maritime Aquarium again. I did it back in high school until balancing school, work, and volunteering became too much. I really enjoyed volunteering there and I regretted every moment that I gave it up. I want to start volunteering again. I found it fun working with the public (surprise) in that setting, and I really enjoy being able to teach them something, especially about something I love so much. So at least I figured one thing out! Too bad it's the one thing that won't pay, but I'm okay with that.

So I'm puzzled. Don't know where my life is going or what I'll be doing. Long-term goal is to go to grad school for student affairs in 2012. Which I know makes it weird that I'm looking for jobs in aquaculture and fisheries until then, but that's what my degree is in and I enjoy it a lot so I might as well do it. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind another 10 times in the next year and a half? Could happen. I might not know what I'm doing with my life at the moment, but I'm okay with that because I know I'll find something. It will all work out in the end, and that's all that really matters. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy the things in life that I do have.